Cant help it

Sometimes you cant help how you feel about someone. Chances are risky and sometimes you gotta take then by jumping off that bridge

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There's a message in the things you do and say

Your complicated in your own ways

But yet I love it

At first I thought nothing of it

But its so close i can almost hug it

Your actions come off louder then you think

Well at least to me

It makes me think of all possibilities

But the problem is what if you don't see what I do

But time will play out if things is true

But until then I'll keep my eye on you

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I think I would make a great photographer. What you think?

Self Evaluation

Have I become to cold & stubborn to realize what already remains
rather then what i want & who I want to be here
Here I am walking around with not a care in the world.
Showing my ass because I got hurt by 1 to many girls
Always looking back and comparing it to now,
& wasnt I the one saying  you cant move forward looking in the rear view?
I've become so contradicting but yet within it all at least one person
makes it their business or place to love me beyond that
Have I forgotten how to appreciate whats here, and what its worth
because I've become so high maintanence that i think im too good for anybody
Yet I question my capabilities,

Have I become to soft because when it comes to a significant other I

can never show no remorse, This is a emotional course

& i tend to feel its my power of self I need to reinforce

I know my heart has only become slightly cold becuase I allowed it too

but im owning up  the best thing a person can do,

You see im selfish, & i like things my way & if not i'll raise hell

Cause i feel if im in control our time will be served well

Im demanding but sensitive too, so do one thing wrong

& you'll be able to see I have feelings too

You know someone said ill be old & lonely

But i'd rather be that then to be fake & phony.

Unlike many I can admit its alot with myself I need to work on

But until then I need to remain strong and realize when im wrong

Prada 6-9-10 this is her at 1 month

2010 Graduate

Love through Nature

I hate when it rains but yet it creates a beautiful scenery


One similiar to reality

you see like obstacles are represented by the remains

created and pushed by the rain

The winds represents the intensity

felt within an incompatible yet compatible couple

Complicated huh?

A fear rises up in me due to the powerful relationship

Thunder & lightening creates with each other

A jealousy urge wishing I had that type of communication

and relationship with my significant other,

as thunder and lightening have with each other

But in all reality it isnt that easy.

The winds blow and its rage tend to push me away

but still im able to flow with it

Currency slows down as i steadily try to catch my pace,

because obviously im running to come in first place to win this race

but there's always that one thing that holds me back

& i begin losing the race

Due to that gap,

It reminds me of that road sign that represents slippery when wet

Caution, do not enter, slow down, stop, or even go

You see how emotions and natures natural occurances connect?

Life, love, and natural disasters all move in a cycle like Karma

What goes around eventually comes back around

& what goes up, must come down

The mind is a dangerous tool

The mind is a dangerous tool, if you don't know that
try being in my shoes.


Dark shadows race once my eyes close,


the mind is a dangerous tool, is there anyone besides


me who knows?


When pain caresses the body rather then the hands


And your heart just crumbles up, further in


Smile, all you can do is smile


All you can do is smile because they won't know the difference


And there's a rare chance that you'll find somebody who


actually listens


How about those days when you cry but you can't understand why


But it's when you begin to sigh that the mind ends up keeping your


head high.


Destruction, and pain seems to get rid of it all,


And before you know it, blood begins to fall


Scars, bruises begins to find it's self a new home


Im telling you the mind is a dangerous tool


Specially when you're all alone.


Ever been under the influence for the first time


Everything from the past comes racing to your mind


Good, bad, which is all to life, and you begin to find


yourself in a predictment where one foot is in the present


and one is in the past


Struggle.


It's all a struggle, the mind causes you to put up a bubble.


When we think we know it all, because one did it before


we expect the next to, you see where pain and over


analysis lead you?


I wish I can say I'm not a victim


Cause if I do, then I would be lying


I've grown use to it all,


I've grown so familiar with it


pain no longer hurts, and though love trys to occupy my mind


It fails, because my mind refuses


and now you see how dangerous of a tool it is.


I was not ever weak, I've grown to become weak


And as i try to become a bit stronger


my words become faint, as I try to speak


I will not give up nor ever give in


Then I would be a failure, which shall never be a option


They'll really take advantage then


But it will stop as of now, I say my heasrt will bring it to an end


So listen and listen well


The mind is a dangerous tool, it will bring you to your hell


As long as you let it's negativity serve you well.

Catching Up

Well, hello there all bloggers,
I guess I been slacking on my post as well,
its been a minute, it's been a minute
Well nothing much is new with besides the fact I graduate in 2 weeks
I'll keep you all posted as much as I can, just been a little busy
Any busy person should know how that goes, busy with all this senior
buisness. Well see you all later =]

I feel like a poem

I feel like a poem,

Full of emotions colliding, to create a flawed masterpiece.


I feel like a rock, no emotion no feeling, just stone cold.


My mind, creates a tornado of thoughts, freely wandering


Free to destruct and destroy everything possible that comes in its way


Breaking down, those of the innocent and revealing those of the guilty,


And though this is a poem, can you feel me?


Im so dangerous, like the mind


Because the mind is a dangerous tool,


And though im not perfect I am still put up on a pedastool


I am a wandering pen, waiting to meet my paper, so I can free myself


Free myself from, the self destructive thoughts that over power my mellow state,


The thoughts dat causes my heart to race, yet slow down when I think of my mothers face.


You know, the thought and emotion of love, traps me in causing conflict with both


my mind & heart, making me feel incomplete when we are apart


My heart trys to keep peace, while my mind retaliates.


The further I go in, the more the walls seem to begin to collide,


& no matter how much I try, I always tend to hide.


The struggle tend to get harder and it turns into a situation of


Survival of the fittest.


I know im on someones hit list ,


Sometimes I feel myself falling further in the sand,


But its always my mom who sets out her hand, and


once again, I stand.


I feel like a poem


Full of emotions colliding to create a flawed masterpiece


But this masterpiece will not be complete


Until the death of me is reached.