What you helped me to become

I fell, no view, feeling, or sense

i opened my eyes to a dark room
cold walls and floors,
I screamed as loud as i can for as long as i can
And all i heard was echoes screaming back at me
I ran, I ran as fast as I can just to get no where
Right back in the same position, as before.
Cold room cold wall cold floors
I became so close with dark, that I no longer understood light
I gave in, I ran away to seek, what I no longer understood
And here I am now saying its all good
She gave me a hand, she gave me a shout, She turned the constant
feeling of cold inside out.
I turned my back, resisting to intake the good she could give,
not knowing its the best way to live.
I hated, i isolated,
I isolated myself from those who showed concern
I wasnt familiaR with the idea of a lesson being learned
I was on my knees, crying, begging,
And here i find myself closer to heaven
I prayed, i analyzed,
and now im thanking god, for my angel in disguise.
You helped lead, with out me even saying
& you helped me become familiar with the thought of praying.
You helped me see the light and the side of me
I havent before, So i wrote this poem to let you know
We are now ashore, no longer drowing anymore.
& im thankful, for the help advice and motivation
& For the heads up, you've become my inspiration

Its your flaws that I love

You're smile creates a world of broken promises


You're touch brings the feeling of pain

You're whisper creates a intimate hunger

& your every word creates a new world of wonder

You're laugh crawls under my skin, causing tension

But its intriguing that I love you even through all that i mention

I love your tone, it brings me to the mellow state

I love your smile, its full of flaws.

Your eyes relax upon me like the sun in the winter when im cold,

And through every flaw of yours you show our love wont ever fold

I love your whisper it clings llike the spider to the web,

Its the sheets to the bed,

and it creates every vivid and valid thought in my head.

Though its unpleasing, I find it very pleasing

Very interesting.

You got me holding on both hands,

Feet in the sand, so its easy to sink in.

You got me studying you like a mid term

You got me excited to see what i scored

So excited like a kid is when one is rewarded.

This is no rerun, this isnt recorded.

Your flaws,

Your flaws are so beautifully deminished

Like a boquet beautifully replinished

I could not ever despise you,

We learned to stick like glue,and now that i got you

I dont wanna lose you.

Love the only word thats truly emphasized throughout

So hear I am thanking you once more, for helping the negatives turn about.

& theres no obstacle or individual that can come in our way ,

Because our today is our future, which lies within tomorrow,

So heres my heart to keep, and treasure,

Cause im signing it over to you with pleasure.

& here's to your flaws and all that you become to me,

Because just like misery, happiness enjoys company.

I couldnt ever be more thankful, for you

cause ur my rare dove

And its your flaws that i Love

The problem is maybe Im doing to much,
Always giving my all but still its never enough.
You see these people never appreciate shxt
until its gone,
But when you decide to leave you considered dead wrong.
This is why I say, you cant always think with your heart
You gotta think with your mind, because people will
take it to their advantage because your being to kind

Its Just not that simple

When things are falling off
When life seems unfair
You walk around with your head down
&; still they dont care.

When your other is forcing you down a bit
You wanna walk out but yu cant quit.
The door is open waiting for you to walk out.
Waiting for pain to turn pleasure inside out.

When things change and theres rain
Consequence of struggle got you going in sane
Of course there will be pain, causing the feeling of change
& that feeling of doubt will secretly remain

You tell them things they wanna hear
& they'll think they see things clear,
but truth is they are no where near.

You'll pull off the smile because its one best disguise
But I'll be able to see the hidden pain within your eyes.
I will be the one who will understand
Bc even I say smile when you dont want to
But I understand its not that simple.

P.S I always use words and phrases to cheer me up knowing its not that simple yet I still find my way around
the complications. You just gotta find that feeling deep within you and better it.- Spencer

The beginning of Something new.

Pouring my emotions on this page

Trying to get your eyes to find,

The hidden message within, that im trying to provide.

Distance, means so little

Because my emotions and you, mean so much more.

& even though were drowning i'll lead our way to shore.

They'll try to put you under the influence 

by getting you high, filling your mind with lies.

But im telling you we have no limit

our high is beyond these skies.

I cant determine my future because tomorrow isn't promised, 

But as my future approaches, I can only remain honest.

Honest to you and myself, because today determines tomorrow. 

I will lead you not towards hunger and pain causing days of endless rain

but towards the happiness you never completely framed.

I can be your god, Just believe I will not mislead.

We will stick together you'll be my butter and i'll be your cheese.
Sometimes you have to make everyone else fade into the background, 
If not then look at whats going on now.
I may not completely understand, 
But here I am still offering not only my heart but my hand.
& when it comes to our future im pretty sure god has it planned.
So here's what im trying to say.
The rain cant wash me away, 
The sun cant shine to bright
Im willing to stay on this flight cause every emotion you give off
is only right &
Even though its dark we'll find our way to the light.
Stress comes too, but this is something were gonna get through
Just smile even when you dont want too, 
Im telling you this is the beginning of something new.


P.s You have to learn to forget somethings it doesnt mean your weak it means your strong 
& because you've found flaws in that thing, your only trying to get around that flaw to make 
that situation better. - S P E N C E R.

Im just saying

Look no one can tell you who to be with, who to like, or who to fall in love with,
People cant tell you whats right or wrong, because everyone is entitled to there own
opinion regardless. People are gonna believe what they wanna believe at the
end of the day so why waste your breath sometimes?
I mean, Im just saying.

S p e n c  e  r

Life is too short so kiss slowly, forgive quickly, forget the past, but remember what it taught you...the U.S. constitution doesn’t gurantee happiness, only the PURSUIT of it...yu have to catch up with the rest of it yourself..XXII

Happy New Year Welcome 2010

As i reflect on 2009,

I've realized i made mistakes had doubts 

got hurt, and there were people who was a waste of time

as well as worth it.

I realized things happen for a reason even if we 

dont know what that reason may be, good or bad.

However, Just because its a new year it doesnt mean theres a new me

I will remain the same me, but theres always room for improvement because

there's flaws in everything, whether we notice it or not. 

Same book, different chapter.

Same people, with more to come and go.

Starting the new year off with a special some one and hopefully we 

stick it out, beyond the years yet to come. 

But Happy new year everyone and may god open new doors and opportunities for everyone.

P.S My writing will improve I can guarantee that !  

Alone in this world

Your words are sins that leave me feeling lethal

Propane Strong, and the smell eats you

But will it get through?

All of a sudden i feel i dont need you

I tried to be kind like Ghandi did to his peoples

You took advantage of what was at heart instead of mind,

I dont know what to call your kind

Confronting, conversation, impatient thats you

Im feeling consequencial, never suicidal

I should of examined this picture

It feels like world war one

drained and unfortunaly insane but i cant complain

I got the pieces that remain

Raged and eager in pain

Reality wont ever be the same.

As I reminisce its a shame and your name dont deserve a frame

Your existance damaged my brainI try to concentrate but your name is infratuated

And its exausting me, I thought I walked on this road cautiously

I should of stopped when the signs warned me

And now im alone in this world

Ps. I entered this poem in a poetry jam =]. This a throw back

Suicidal

The crowd surrounds me as they realize my physical mistake.
Im sitting in an oven and they're letting me bake.
I was warned but my head was to far out
and now im lost tossing about.
Watch those around you is what several say
I walk with no caution, going the wrong way.
Situations changing and the picture is too
& now im unaware of what to do
True colors show when you have no air to grasp
And instead of being first you end up last.
Life moves to fast and time sometimes move slow
So when it comes to certain people you just have to let go
Instead of making things work 
You just gotta let it flow
But ever think about in order to flow
It's yourself you gotta let go.


P.s This is how some people feel before they become suicidal. Im not suicidal dont get the wrong impression its just writing from a different perspective. However, you have the learn to rise about the negatives in order to see a better tomorrow.