Struggles

There are struggles yet to overcome
and when it comes to mistakes
We'll make more then one
Never let struggles serve as a guide
because they'll put you in a disguise and 
allow those to harshly describe.
Don't allow them to forsee because they'll
begin to make you question who you should be
A friend yet a enemy
that you shall not think of letting in


P.s As they say life is like a roller coaster but people fail to realize that even though you drop you'll eventually come back up.- Spencer

I am me

Life is a beautiful thing when you dare to be yourself. Especially when you're transitioning from fitting in to standing out from everyone else.-Spencer

12/14/08-09

Countless days I could almost remember
Being in your arms or you in mine.
What separated us is time.
You wanted things your way
and I wanted things to be mine
But we happened to come to the conclusion
everything would be fine.
Forever, we said it would be
You and me eternally but 
Rough times came as you played games
Bringing me to my pain and before we knew
things weren't the same.
We shxtted on each other but still we came back
Releasing secrets and made me recap
I promised i wouldn't go back
I never knew broken hearts could exist 
until i met you and its crazy what words really do
Smiles and laughs we had to
but how you hurt me & i would still go back
Thats how i knew i really loved you
My tears could have created oceans
I knew I was open
You're the reason why my heart is frozen 
But still i admired,
I admired your flaws which shall never expire
causing a selfush desire
Well i had to burn out this fire
bcause my heart had been invaded 
In october the month we seperated.


Ps. This was written on 12/14/09 b.c me & my ex would have made a year but this goes to show that things happen. People come and go, & there;s gonna be more then one time people get hurt.

=]

After a day of sitting down over analyzing and rethinking things over
I feel so much better.
Thanks for everyone who encouraged me to do better. 
& think about reconsidering. 
I wasnt fooling no one but myself because I dont ever give up ! 
Ever, because failure is not ever a option ! 
Also ones failure is anothers success with that bein said
Im pretty sure you guys get the point =].
I love life and the few in it. 


P.s Live, Laugh, Love<--If you choose but preferably like lol =]. & as I always say life is what you make it and people are what yu allow them to become

Haiku

Life is a nice thing
Just cherish every moment
& you will be good
          

How im feeling

I really havent been feeling like myself lately.
I dont know what it is or whats going on within me
but a negative stream got me flowing with it.
Im constantly battling with myself to stay positive about anything
Basketball has always been my biggest motivation and love
& I feel like im giving up on that too. 
I know no one can do anything for me but shxt is just real hard.
Im constantly struggling and Im at the point where I really just 
want to give up. No motivation talk or anything. 
Its just hard an complicated. Im only writing this because i cant talk 
to no one because I doubt anyone will even understand. 
Writing is something i always fell back on when words couldnt come out
but its like im giving up on this too. 
ah! I know life is what yu make it but how can someone make the best 
when shxt feels all negative around them?


P.s & i always told myself never let them see you sweat because thats exactly what they want. Im not sweating but damn sure feel like it. I know ima get through this. 

"Dare to be different"

  I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones- John Cage

Life-Henry Ford

        "Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger even though its hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward. "

Something Special Someone wrote to me =]

There aree a thOusandd tearss tO a smiilee andd there are a thOusandd peOplee Outt there tO makee iitt wOrthh whiilee.



Whiilee ii wuss hOmee remmiiniisen abOutt thee tiimess iin thee pastt, everytiimee yOu wrOtee mee ii cracked a smiilee andd lauqhh =)


Love iiss sumthiinqq yOu takee yOu hOldd iin yahh heartt fOrevah nOe matter whatt thiinqqss aree thee Outt cOme. my heartt iiss chaiinedd upp w. thiiss speciiall lOckk thatt Onlyy One persOn can Open!*


ii qavee myy heartt tO manyy andd camee backk w. nuffiin iin thee endd, butt wen ii lOOk att yOu ii wunnaa fiiqhtt thiiss shiitt tiill thee endd evenn w. all siins!*


ii`vee pushedd thiinqqss iinn myy liifee becauusee ii thOuqhtt ii wuss makeiinqq shiitt riiqhtt,butt all ii diid wuss makee iitt wOrst, thenn yOu can alOnqq andd shiinedd iitt sO briiqhtt!* andd iimaa stiill keep pushiinqq because ii Onlyy thiink iitss riiqhtt, butt ii wantt yOu tO bee byy myysiidee tiill ii hiitt thee liiqhtt.


ii been iinn thee darkness fOr tO lOnqq nOww andd yOu aree my leader sO lead the wayy. tiimess aree qOiinqq tO bee hardd becausee Of thee amOuntt Of spacee.


yOu aree thee batteryy tO myy flash liiqhtt andd w. Outt yOu ii cOulddntt see. thiinqqs seemedd bluryy tO mee becausee all ii wuss seeiinqq wuss shiitt ii cOuldntt bee!*


Wenn ii Openn myy eyess ii realiizedd thatt there sOmethiinqq abOutt yOu thattss makeiinqq mee wantt yOu mOre andd mOre, andd thatt yOur kiindness. thiinqqss iinn liifee dOntt cOmee thatt easyy butt yOu camee thrOuqh myy wiindOww liikee sOmee Onee flew yOu iin andd sentt yOu tO mee andd nOww iitss thiiss bliindness thatt upOnss mee.


As tiime qOess byy andd ii walk awayy ii lOOk att yahh facee andd sayy, there iss Onlyy One thiinqq iinn
thhiiss wOrldd that ii wOUldd ask fOr andd thattss tO havee yOu andd manyy mOree.

Your loss

i forgave you even though you were a sin in disguise



I was nieve which brought me to this pain as i think of your lies


My heart was too tied up My concious thouhgt i'd see


But instead your existance just blinded me


I know they say life goes on and things happen


But how can i manage


If it was ur air that i was constantly graspin?


Keep it pushing is what they'll say


You deserve better anyway


But yet they dont understand.


When i was falling down i was grabbing your hand.


You knew but you refused to let me know


You still love me in your own way


but because the lust of another you gota let me go


Let me flow like the waves in a ocean.


You had a nigga open heart swollen


When thigns hit me i thought my air ways was closing.


Im happy though. I realized


I realized your were a ignorant bxtch in disguise


Opening my eyes from that dream i was dreaming.


So i thank you for all the pain you caused


Because now im saying Its your loss.


You'll pay the cost as karma hits you


Leaving you a mark


& by then you'll be something i forgot.
 
P.s People never realize what they got until they long gone and done moved on.